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Gems from the classified ads section:

1. Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

2. Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

3. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

4. No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.

5. For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.

6. Great Dames for sale.

7. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

8. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

9. The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.

10. Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

11. Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

12. Stock up and save. Limit: one.

13. Save regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it.

14. Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.

15. Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

16. 3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.

17. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

18. Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

19. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

20. See ladies blouses. 50% off!

21. Illiterate? Write today for free help.

22. Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

23. Mother's helper--peasant working conditions.

24. We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.

25. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.