Seen above some kitchen counters:

1. "Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!"
2. "I'm creative you can't expect me to be neat too"
3. "I clean house every other day.  Today is the other day"
4. "If you write in the dust..PLEASE don't date it"
5. "My house was clean last week ( too bad you missed it!)"
6. A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen..and this kitchen is delirious.
7. If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap
8. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
9. Help keep the kitchen clean EAT OUT!!
10. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator