Female Dictionary | Relationship Jokes

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Relationship Jokes

Female Dictionary

Argument (ar*gyou*ment): n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed): n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q): n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up,but, he, "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes (blond joks): n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope): n. Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer): n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da): n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee): n. The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz): v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list): n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er): n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
Hardware Store (hard*war stor): n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth (child*brth): n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..."
Lipstick (lip*stik): n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!
Park (park): v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
Patience (pa*shens): n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah): n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae): n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.