Using Affirmations To Heal Yourself

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Is there something you need your parents, spouse, or partner to say to you? My partner at a healing workshop told me she needed her Dad to tell her "You can do anything you want to do." Another participant wished his wife would tell him "You are doing a great job." One woman needed her husband to tell her "I appreciate what you're doing for me."

I wonder how many people have these deep longings that are unfulfilled. And how much hurt and resentment could be removed from our lives if we could hear the words we needed to hear, from the people we needed to hear it from. The fact is that the other person may not be able to give what you need. They may be gone, or may not have the courage or strength to overcome their own emotional hurdles to give you this precious gift.

We cannot let such external circumstances keep us from our happiness. What's important to realize is that we have the ability to partner with our brain to help ourselves. Here's how:

1. Get a friend who is willing to help, have them pretend to be the person you need to hear the affirming phrase from (Cheergiver.com has a section on affirmations if you need phrases to practice with).

2. Face each other and hold hands as though you were going to play thumb wars (right to right). Have them say the affirming phrase to you e.g. 'You are doing a great job". Then respond with a phrase you'd like to give back to that person e.g. "I appreciate you very much."

3. As you exchange phrases, draw an infinity symbol "∞" (i.e. figure of eight on its side) in the air while still holding on to their hand.

4. Focus your eye on your hand as it moves through space.

5. Repeat the exercise with your left hand (left to left). Then with both hands.

You will probably find as I did, that while it wasn't the "real" person telling you the words you are longing to hear from them. That part of your being has accepted the affirmation. I practiced this with a stranger and perhaps because it was such an odd thing to do, the experience is now entrenched in my memory. More importantly, I feel my longing has diminished in its intensity. I can't say what other psychological benefits it has produced but I certainly would recommend this technique to my friends. Try it out and tell me if it has helped you.