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Adult Jokes

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The Stripper and The Soldiers

The soldiers are tired and lonely after spending weeks in enemy territory. To entertain them, the Major called for this sexy dancer from the nearby town.

She came, danced and when the first dance was done, the soldiers went mad. They clapped for 5 minutes.

For her second number, she stripped and danced in sheer bra and G-string. This time the applause went for 10 minutes.

The next number she danced topless, and this time the applause went on and on. The Major had to come on stage and ask them to quiet down for the grand finale.

For her last number, she was to strip completely and dance naked. The Major expected the soldiers to make enough noise to bring the roofdown. But ten minutes later, there is no clapping and the dancer comes backstage.

The Major asks her, "What happened? How come there was no clapping this time?"

She replied with a wicked smile, "Major, how do you expect those poor boys to clap with one hand?"

Chinese Jews

Two Jews - Sid and Dave, were sitting in a Chinese restaurant.

"Sid, are there any Jews in China?" asked Dave.

"I don't know," Sid replied, "Why don't we ask the waiter?"

When the waiter came by, Dave asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews?"

"I'm not sure, sir, let me ask." the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Chinese Jews."

"Are you sure?" Sid asked.

"Please let me check again, sir." the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.

While the waiter was still in the kitchen, Sid said to Dave, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere."

A few minutes later, the waiter returned and said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews."

"Are you really, really sure?" Dave asked, "I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews."

"Sir, I've asked everyone in the kitchen," the waiter replied, "We have orange juice, apple juice, tomato juice, grape juice and guava juice. But we just don't have Chinese juice."

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